well I can't set my house on fire every night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
