I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
