i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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