Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
