i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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