dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
