So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
