He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
