so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
