I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
