at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
