Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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