i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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