I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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