Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
