Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
