I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There's even glitter on my cock...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
