dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
