Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
