She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My penis needs a shock collar
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
