I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
