who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
