note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
