What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
