i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
