the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
