If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
