Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hippo gnu deer
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
