We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
