i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
