If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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