Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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