If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
