I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
