I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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