are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
