he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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