It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
