Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
