ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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