found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
