i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
