Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
