Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
