If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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