Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
