Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
