if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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