Plan B is the new Plan A
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
