She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
